#extra awkward because they have siblings and it's all very on the cusp of like....

[soviet-siscon]

sorry this is where i put my "maybe I'm mean or a bad person but...." interpersonal shit (but to be fair it's my blog so i get to decide what i do with it) but like.... ok so this is a complicated one.

i wouldn't even say it was "before we worked out certain things" or even necessarily before i had started to form as a personality, but before we'd properly internalised everything and were just edging into self realisation we had a few ppl we'd basically talk about fauxcest with (i mean like even my hosts partner vaguely knows about her sister issues™) and we always had a bit of a weird reaction to it.

like in hindsight there's also the being ace but it's funny like.... disliking someone calling me "big sis" or whatever (also why the fuck does everyone want me to be their big sister even when older than them 😭 comptop +++) not because we're not into incest or are pretending not to be BUT because it's literally just pretend play that isn't very appealing and doesn't even slightly hit deep enough into our weird emotional complexes to be satisfying.

how on earth do you explain "can we stop this please? no not because i hate incest but because i think I'm actually into my family and this was just a cope" lol. like what do i do? do i go "hi sorry I don't want to do that anymore i didn't really like it because we're not actually related" lol. the obvious solution is just ignore it and never bring it up and it goes away because we just don't do it anymore. problem solved.

on a deeper level like maybe unsurprisingly my feelings about incest and what I'd actually want from someone are far more heavily involved in emotions and feelings of security and love than sex, but not really in a way that can just be substituted out by calling someone else "mum" (believe me I've tried). it's not the fantasy of "what if i had a mum/brother/sister etc who loved me?" it's "i wish my actual mum/brother etc loved me"

[geeharrisons-blog]

hey you crazy kids, it’s me, ya girl LARA. bringing in my fave gorl, the friend who wants to comfort you but has no idea what she’s doing, the girl who wanted to compliment you but accidentally insulted you and now doesn’t know how to fix it, who regularly says “ thanks, you too ” to ticket salesmen at the movie theatre tell her to “ have fun ” ... GEETA ( aka gee, greta, saint geeta... )

( NAOMI SCOTT, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) you’ve probably already heard of GEETA HARRISON through the LA music scene. the TWENTY-THREE year old is the BASSIST & CO-LEAD SINGER of the band SHY VIOLETS, an INDIE POP band that has FOUR members & sounds kind of like GROUPLOVE, FICKLE FRIENDS & THE KOOKS. GEE is said to be DEXTEROUS but also CONFRONTATIONAL. i wonder what bandslam makes of them ?

( tw: drunk driving, car accident, death )

— ✧ HISTORY

your first memory is her laughter. years later it still rings in your head, it resounds against the walls of your chest. it’s still in you. the sound of her voice as she cradled you, sang with your head against her chest. you still don’t understand the language, but the soft hums and vibrations tell you that you are oh, so wanted. oh, so loved.

your parents are DAVID and SAMIRA. your parents were young and in love. your parents were broke. your parents moved to SAN FRANCISCO and started a band. you weren’t planned, but who cares about plans anyway ?

you are born from their music. you sprout from the fingertips that caress the piano keys, or strum the guitar. they name you SONG, in your mother’s native tongue ( GEETA, GEE-TAH ). you were always meant to make music. to BE music.

you never knew silence. there was always MUSIC, always beautiful harmonies filling the air and flooding your lungs. the beatles, the stones, hendrix, joplin, dylan, bowie. you don’t listen to the radio. you only know your father’s records, and your mother’s voice. the strum of his guitar. her fingers on the piano keys.

you turn TEN years old and you hold a guitar for the first time. he teaches you his favorite songs, which are also yours. you don’t have a lot to talk about, but you have THIS. this is the ONE thing you can share with your father, and you take to it like a duck to water. you were B O R N from music, like athena from zeus’ head. you were ALWAYS meant for this.

school lets out, and you run to the music store. you make music for the people, take advantage of the instruments on display. you learn how to play on borrowed keys and strings. there isn’t a MOMENT when you’re not playing, or listening, or making music. at school, you write, at home, you practice. this is ALL you know.

the first time you hold a BASS guitar in your hands you’re FOURTEEN. you feel as if part of your body has been missing until this very moment. it’s a tan-colored stratocaster, and it feels like coming HOME.

the summer after you turn FIFTEEN, you’ve got your eyes set on a seafoam green fender. you work all summer. you don’t see your friends. you bring her home and name her PENNY LANE.

in high school, you join every band that will have you. you just want to play music, you don’t care about the genre. you NEED to play. at home, you write your own songs, but you keep them to yourself. one day, they’ll find the right outlet.

you’re EIGHTEEN and almost out of high school when some drunk asshole C O L L I D E S with your mom as she’s driving home one night. they rush her to the hospital. you’re hanging out with your band after a show when you get the call. your father is holding her hand as she takes her last breaths, moments before you come running in. you’re too L A T E.

you almost don’t graduate. you stop playing. you stop writing. you live with your father in complete silence. for the FIRST time, there isn’t a sound. not a note, not a hum. the next year passes by in a foggy blur. suddenly you’re NINETEEN and nothing has happened. you haven’t moved an inch.

your dad has moved on. you don’t understand how. every day he walks further, and further A W A Y from you. you hoped it would be the other way around, that this would bring you closer. isn’t grief supposed to do that for people ? instead, he finds someone else. you were so used to seeing your parents together, so used to thinking that they were the ONLY people out there for each other. it doesn’t make sense in your head for your father to be putting a RING on someone else’s finger.

now, you have a stepmother. she’s sweet, but she’s not your mom. you let her know. don’t let her fool herself into thinking she’s a replacement. you have SIBLINGS now. around your age. they’re nothing but STRANGERS to you.

one day, you sit down at the piano your mother used to play. it doesn’t sound the same as when she played it, each notes bouncing off the walls of the apartment you grew up in, but it kind of feels like she’s still THERE. your dad starts crying. there’s a moment of understanding. this is where your paths diverge. he’s MOVING with his new wife and kids. there’s a baby on the way. you realize you need to move too. this isn’t the same apartment you grew up in. you can’t STAY here.

the next day you pack your things and drive to LA. you don’t have a plan yet, but you’re not too worried. again, who cares about plans ?

a friend lends you his couch. you get a job at a music store ( those have always felt like home, no ? ). you two find your own place. you work a few different jobs, teach other kids how to play music. you find your way around the scene. make some friends who play in bands. you join a band called SHY VIOLETS. you’re back to playing the bass, and you feel like you have a home again. everything is finally making sense. THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO DO.

— ✧ PERSONALITY

❝ she didn’t sob or wail. her grief was horribly discreet  but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound. ❞

ZODIAC SIGN: aries-taurus cusp ( april 20th ) PERSONALITY TYPE: estp – the entrepreneur ENNEAGRAM: type 8 – the challenger TEMPERAMENT: melancholic HOGWARTS HOUSE: gryffindor MORAL ALIGNMENT: true neutral PRIMARY VICE: pride PRIMARY VIRTUE: diligence ELEMENT: earth MORE STATS HERE !!

hello kids this is geeta aka gee, my sad, awkward, fighty gorl.

at first, she’s kinda quiet and reserved. she has a one-track mind, and the only thing she cares about is the music. she wants to be the best bassist she can be. the best singer she can be. make the band the best it can be.

she lives and breathes music. it’s what she grew up on, it’s the only thing she knows. doesn’t really understand people who aren’t as passionate about music as she is. can be a little closed-minded when it comes to this. she honestly just doesn’t do anything that isn’t music-related. definitely needs to learn how to relax and get a life outside of the band. music is her life; she doesn’t care about anything else.

she’s pretty great at what she does and she knows it, so she can get cocky sometimes. she’s very proud of the band and what they’ve achieved, and sometimes that can go to her head. but the truth is she has the chops to back up her talk.

she’s stubborn as a mule and that definitely shows when dealing with the band. she knows what she wants and has trouble compromising. shy violets is all she has so she’s fiercely protective of it, and extremely loyal to her bandmates.

she doesn’t trust people easily, so she’s very cautious when making band-related decisions. who they sign with, where they play, etc. she’s kind of a control freak.

she’s a generally friendly person, but she doesn’t open up easily and plays things close to the vest. she can come off a little cold sometimes, but not rude. just awkward. her communication skills are shit.

she’s only comfortable enough to be emotionally open with a few select people. or, of course, through the music she writes.

she can’t back down from a fight. it’s a problem, and she knows it, but she can’t avoid confrontation, she runs headfirst into it, even if she’s in the wrong. mama didn’t raise a quitter, but she did raise a fool.

she’s always listening to music. she’s that – *planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what – meme.

she doesn’t really drink, partly because she’s a control freak, and partly because she’s still spooked by what happened to her mom. she’s not very comfortable around drunk people, unless she’s also a little tipsy. she’ll drink just enough so that the people around her don’t think she’s weird, but she’s always the sober friend at the end of the night. she’s always the designated driver, even if she wasn’t out drinking that night. she’ll get out of bed to drive the drunk children home. she’ll do this without being asked, but she’ll still complain about it the whole car ride.

a bicon™ because i’m a firm believer that straight people don’t exist.

you will all learn soon enough that my specialty is sad girls™ and this is. only the first. it’ll only get sadder from here on out.

— ✧ EXTRAS

BASSIST CLAIM: laena geronimo from the like. VOICE CLAIM: greta salpeter from the hush sound. THEME SONGS: way it goes – hippo campus | some nights – fun. | don’t take the money – bleachers | drive – pale waves | some nights – fun. PINTEREST: xx PLAYLIST: [ always a wip ] xx

— ✧ CONNECTIONS

i’m probably gonna work out a page for these, but in the meantime, i’m just gonna list some general ideas in case anyone is interested !!

your character and geeta grew up around each other in san francisco, and they moved to la around the same time. they sometimes drive up there together [ taken: open 0/1 ]

your character was the first new friend gee made when she moved to los angeles. still very raw from losing her mother, she opened up to them. they know her better than most people [ taken: ricky clark ]

your character is the friend gee crashed with when she first arrived in los angeles, and later got an apartment with. they still live together, with all the ups and downs that entails [ taken: nathaniel taylor ]

your character is a big influence in geeta’s music, she probably saw them live a few years ago and is absolutely blown away by what they do musically. she admires them greatly, and really looks up to them [ open 0/1 ]

your character is geeta’s best friend. her platonic life partner. 10/10 would die for them without thinking twice. they sometimes makeout a little too [ taken: jade vandermeer ]

your character worked with geeta at the music store [ open 0/?? ]

your character and geeta dated shortly after she moved to la. it didn’t last, and they both realized they were together for all the wrong reasons. they’re friends now, but not after writing some angry breakup songs about each other [ taken: nathaniel taylor ]

your character and geeta dated for a while, but it didn’t end well. not necessarily messy, but awkward. she does everything in her power to avoid them [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta dated for a while, and they were really into each other, but that kind of fizzled out. they’re still friends though [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta hooked up once. it’s nbd [ open 0/?? ]

your character is someone geeta kind of hates. maybe she doesn’t hate them, but she’s kind of grossed out by them. the last person she would ever expect to hook up with, but hey, she did. and now they won’t let her forget it, because it’s so easy to get under her skin [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta aren’t in the same band, but often get together to jam out, or write music together. throughout this process, they bond and learn a lot about each other [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta almost dated once. almost. something happened that made them reconsider [ open 0/1 ]

your character has a crush on geeta, and she doesn’t even notice. perhaps it’s better this way, since she can’t return the feeling and wouldn’t know how to turn them down [ open 0/1 ]

your character and geeta don’t really get along. they’re always trying to one-up each other, always trying to beat the other one. they don’t hate each other, but they’re constantly competing [ open 0/1 ]

your character has geeta’s phone on speed dial for when they’re too drunk to go home. they crash regularly on her couch [ open 0/?? ]

your character is someone geeta’s had feelings for some time, but still hasn’t acknowledged. they’re good friends, so taking that next step feels impossible. they’re someone she can open up to, and her feelings are getting harder and harder to deny [ taken: ricky clark ]